Resurrection

At one point, I thought this blog was dead.. I thought I was done. But then i was thinking the other day, about why i created this blog to begin with...and then i realised that what i wanted from this blog was an outlet. A place that was my own, to say what i wanted, to vent, to be happy an the list goes on

So today, I bring this blog back from the dead... a resurrection or sorts haha

So am still this pessimist.. the one with the "emo" outlook on life haha
recently something happened. Yet again this lil heart got hurt. After bhajans that fateful Friday, a person who i think the lord himself sent to me, took me out for dinner and we had a talk.

She said something that will always remain one of the most meaningful of the many lessons life has given me.

" In life, you learn many lessons. However, you can only go on to the next lesson once you have complete the current on. God is like a mom. He watches over you teaching you each lesson with patience. He sends you these tests, Probably in the form of people, who test yu. Every time you fail, there is no punishment. You merely have to repeat the test until u get it right.. you fall..again and again.. but ultimately, you learn to walk.. to run.. to jump.. to skip.. all from the basic walking."

So that got me thinking.. its really no use talking about being hurt, and how you feel about it. I mean sure at that point in time, talking helps. But ultimately, it what you do about it that counts.

So I am gonna do something about it =)

that is all

Bunch of Banana's

This is one of the very rare occasions that before I started to write this post, i knew what i was gonna call it. This one is dedicated to Noor L.. who has been bugging me to post somehtign new :)

So alot has happened in the lsat month, new experiences as always, new people, new things to try, things to o. There are always new things to experience in life, and sometimes it can be overwhelming. Personally, I've felt overwhelmed many a time in the last couple of months. Thing is, at the end of it all, as always, its a learning experience. BUT, the learning process is not always one that is pleasant. In fact, more often than not, the process is far more hurtful,far more painful then the result. Personally, at the end of it, i come out feeling detached, feeling like it doesnt matter anymore, an then.. rite at that moment, someone special ( B) comes along and puts things into perspective. Thats what you need sometimes, a little perspective.

This is gonna be a short post,. Gotta get my thoughts organised for more posts, which as alwyas i promise, will come.
Noor L, this one is for u

A song kept me going for a while
here it is
Many nights we prayed
with no proof anyone could hear,
In our hearts a hopeful song,
we barely understood.....

THERE CAN BE MIRACLES,
WHEN YOU BELIEVE
THOUGH HOPE IS FRAIL
ITS HARD TO KILL

WHO KNOWS WHAT MIRACLES,
YOU CAN ACHEIVE
WHEN YOU BELIVE
SOMEHOW YOU WILL
YOU WILL WHEN YOU
BELIEVE


that is all

my lost symbol will remain unmarked by sacred pen:(

As I sit in this place where the buses of the sky pick up their passengers, I am amazed by the various people of many different walks of life that stroll by... all like me.. people in transit..waiting in this busy Dubai airport for connecting flights to take them to their points of destination( Mine being London Heathrow)

It is also at this airport that I picked up my very own copy of the latest Dan brown book, The Lost Symbol, It is also at this airport that I just found out that Mr Brown will be making an unofficial stop during his own transit , and will sign copies of his book!! And it is also here that i found out that he will be coming in about half an hour AFTER my flight leaves :( talk about irony yeah.

Dan Brown is one of the people i admire most. His calibre, his skill with the pen is amazing. His writing brings out vivid images in ones head, painting pictures of incredible beauty,gore, of love,of friendship, so perfectly.

I am looking forward or rather not dreading the next 6 hour flight to London as Mr Brown will be keeping me company. He will entertain me with his penmanship.

Till the next one,

That is all

List of things to do before im 30..

1. Ride the worlds highest roller coaster
2.Bungee Jump off the grand canyon
3.Skydive
4.Tell someone my life story.. not leaving out ANY details
5.Be an audience member on Oprah
6.Drive the autobahn
7.Scuba dive off Australia's Great Barrier Reef.
8. Learn to fire a gun
9.Read a 500 page book in one sitting
10.Eat something I'd never thought of trying..
11.Watch Titanic
12.Eat a foot long sub
13.Learn to whistle properly
14.Experience Weightlessness
15.Travel to the middle east
16. Empty the contents of a bean bag
17. Squeeze a out a whole tube of toothpaste
18.Dance
19.watch all the james bond movies back to back
20.read all the harry potter books back to back...

H.O.M.E

So IM BACK. the sun came out in Penang.. as we landed.. some kinda sign :P
Now ive got a month to kill before heading back to the big M( or rather small M)
Its weird innit.. when im in Manipal.. i wanna be back home.. now imback home.. i wanna be in Manipal for some reason. But being back.. having this furry bundle in my lap as i type this...makes it all worth while :)

Sometimes its like our lives in Manipal are like a season of One tree Hill.... Its like at every holiday, its the en of a season.. all the drama..it all ends.. for a while.. only for us to go back n start again..
SOme people like the drama.. personally.. i feel its over-rated.. ppl talking bout ppl.. ppl doing n saying stuff.. but its through this drama that u really discover what people are really like.. Its true i guess In manipal.. u get more then a medical education :)

That is all

Exams are the way that lecturers get revenge for all the times you slept in their class...

Its exam season. Means no more party.. alot more study... everyones stressed.
And somehow.. its during this time that all the problems in the world crop up! ( oh for the real You-Got-Problem helpline :P)
Part of me believes that its cos ppl have too much free thinking time during this period.. where classes are scarce.. stuying time plenty.. but we dont study all the time.. spending half of the time stoning :P

This is just a short post to update the blog on whats going on.. Time is short... n somehow during this time the mood for studying evaporates :P

Guess ill have to grit my teeth n just push on

till the next post

that is all( i didnt forget noor l :)]

Ponderings...

One of the most beautiful lines i have come across so far in my life is this

"religion is flawed..but only because man is flawed..all men"

Isnt this the most profoundd thing of life? It is not only religion that is flawed, it is all things. If we all could abide by this, truly understand that is it ok to be flawed, that is it ok to make mistakes, only if we learn form them,but to never expect to be 100% perfect, I believe that the world will be amuch better place. People living together,accepting each others flaws,expecting no one to be perfect, understaning that flaws are an innate,intimate,inherant part of what makes us human beings.

A personal belief from this author is that religion is a creation of man. Religion was brought about to explain to man the many things that man could not understand. Perhaps in the old days when why plants were green n why the sky is blue could not be understood, religion provided an explanation, God made it so.Perhaps religion was created to provide that check-and-balance system that is very much NECESSARY for the manitanence of a controlled environment.After all wasnt it once sai, that science without religion is blind,but religion without science is empty?

Science and religion co-exist. In this day and age, science can answer many of the past queries, but as we learn more, we only have more questions. Perhaps, the role of religion in this case is to control how much we learn for our own good. Like a mother controlling how much her young child knows of the world,preventing him from learning about things that are deemed unsuitable for his age, so to religion is protecting mankind,for science IS too young. There are somethings that science is simply to young to understand. Religion responds. It pleads for us to stop, to slow down, to appriceate the beauty of life, to smell the roses, to appriceate the blue sky, to listen to the rain, to look for answers within ourselves. The poem Miracles by Walt Whitman tells of these beautiful things.

WHY! who makes much of a miracle?
As to me, I know of nothing else but miracles,
Whether I walk the streets of Manhattan,
Or dart my sight over the roofs of houses toward the sky,
Or wade with naked feet along the beach, just in the edge of the water,
Or stand under trees in the woods,
Or talk by day with any one I love—or sleep in the bed at night with any one I love,
Or sit at table at dinner with my mother,
Or look at strangers opposite me riding in the car,
Or watch honey-bees busy around the hive, of a summer forenoon,
Or animals feeding in the fields,
Or birds—or the wonderfulness of insects in the air,
Or the wonderfulness of the sun-down—or of stars shining so quiet and bright,
Or the exquisite, delicate, thin curve of the new moon in spring;
Or whether I go among those I like best, and that like me best—mechanics, boatmen,
farmers,
Or among the savans—or to the soiree—or to the opera,
Or stand a long while looking at the movements of machinery,
Or behold children at their sports,
Or the admirable sight of the perfect old man, or the perfect old woman,
Or the sick in hospitals, or the dead carried to burial,
Or my own eyes and figure in the glass;
These, with the rest, one and all, are to me miracles,
The whole referring—yet each distinct, and in its place.

To me, every hour of the light and dark is a miracle,
Every cubic inch of space is a miracle,
Every square yard of the surface of the earth is spread with the same,
Every foot of the interior swarms with the same;
Every spear of grass—the frames, limbs, organs, of men and women, and all that
concerns
them,
All these to me are unspeakably perfect miracles.

To me the sea is a continual miracle;
The fishes that swim—the rocks—the motion of the waves—the ships, with men
in
them,
What stranger miracles are there?

To me, religion is one of the essential things in life. Like food, clothes and shelter, so too relgion. It is needed, it is a basic comfort to human beings, it is one of those things that we need. WHat else can we cling to in times of despair? to whom do we turn too? Science provides no answers for this, Religion does. Having said that however, I am not a believer that we should regale to the dark ages. I merely say that science and religion are like subsets, of the main set of numericlas that is the human race. Neither can exist without the other, both exist so that both survive

Girls evening :)

IM sitting here... in K's place... watching em playing with clothes LOL
K says shes gotta start following my blog... see what im wirintg bout her.. so if ur reading this.. :P
Things are a lil better now... but i gotta start studying.. like seriously.. theres alot to do.. and I dont wanna be stressed( well to stressed) later on...

Supremo is on saturday... i dont know what to wear.. its between two sarees...or a green dress..( and gaj before u ask.. its one colour.. n i think you'd approve) Noor L,n SHobi are both gonna be home for holidays next week.. actually as im typing this.. i think shobi should have landed in good ol penang..WIsh i was home..then we could all have like a gathering.. and another cooking session :P

LOL typical girls session la.. all talking bout which part of theri body needs improving...ok personally.. i think its my abs.. a bit to much flab for my liking... needs toning... unfortunately.. im lazy..

Just realised that i Probably need to put a few moing on lately... will put em up.. the Holi pics.. the various birthdays.. the random girls nights.. will put em up:)

Will be a bit more regular bout blogging.. especially now that i have finally got my internet back.. I'll be more regular:)

that is all( for now)

Frustration

Its really true. Manipal does teach you alot. More than an education about medicine, you get an education about life. I've learnt some stuff so far... but somehow i have a feeling that before im done in Manipal, i;ll be getting alot more of these,sometimes,not so pleasent lessons on life.
Perhaps this is why people change, or rather they hide what is really true about themselves.

Sometimes I wonder.. that fateful CHOICE that i made..is it really worth it? Would i have been happier being one of the crowd. But then again, if i didnt make that choice... i would not have met some of the most wonderful people i know today. All that said and done, the choice has been mae. There is no turning back now.

SO if you havent alreay guessed, I am not in the best of moods at the moment. I miss people who understand. Its sa that were all miles n miles apart. If we were together, things would be different.
It feels sometimes like im floating alone.. in this life.. in this place. Its scary cos for the first time in my life, it feels that way. I've never felt this way before. Whats worse is that this is the totally worng time to be feeling this way. I've got exams coming up, and if i dont wanna be kept back 6 months, i need to buckle down n work hard. Its hard to focus. Its easy to say, u know what u came here for and so just shut up and get to it. But its no so easy to do. Manipal can get very lonely. But sometimes, this lonliness is educating. I think ive been educated on this aspect enough..I'd like my life back if thats ok...

i guess thats all

:)

Wow... its really been a while since i last posted. So much has happened since.
Its interesting isnt it, how life really takes you on a long twisted road, only to lead to to right back to where you started. Things seem like they are changing but they actually have never changed.

Since coming to Manipal, I've noticed changes in myself. I guess tis all part of simply growing up. Some changes have been good for me:) some not so good. People have revealed alot about themselves as well. My circle of trust has shrunk since coming back. Which is kinda sad, cos those who know me, know that when i trust, i give it my all. And it hurts badly when those who u trust are those who put a knife in your back. As i sit here typing this, i cant help but remember each of those fate-ridden incidences, in which, the almighty's hand truly protected me. Saved me from becoming to deep, form being burried beneath these things, sending me people who constantly remind me why I am here and what needs to be done. People who give without waiting to see what will be given in return.
Heres to them. Those few, who make my life here complete:)

To those who were following my blog, sorry that there ave been no posts. I truly apologise. I promise to keep better account of all things that occur from this day on.
My passion for poetry,music,has been revived. It took a short break while i was distracted with other things. But its back. TOday, while seeing a lecturer, I came across a poem which was stuck on the wall. No doubt all of us have seen,read,this poem before. If by Rudyard Kipling.

More posts to come. Definately.

That is all :)

Life goes on

So im back in inddia.. havent written for a long time!!
Life here is well.. going on...

We celebrated Holi a couple of days ago.. it was absolutely fab! The colours,the fun.it was infective!Will post pictures :)

Then the next day was our orientation for Batch 24. In Kuhan's timeless words "it was an impossible task..." but we did it. Yes. In just 2 days, the whole batch came together as one. United. We worked together and put up a brilliant show for the incoming batch. It was so good that the dean declared a holiday just for our batch:) Personally, the bunch of us put up a fashion show, showing the new batch what is and what isn't appropriate for class. Everyone agreed that it was absolutely fabulous :D( yes i AM modest:P)

SO we spent the holiday by the beach,chilling,reading, talking and having fun. Then we had a good dinner at Saai Parivar.

Since coming back to Manipal, the days have been pretty eventful,hectic even. Right at this moment, I am in the midst of preparing for the cultural parade for the opening of Utsav. Utsav is this huge event where all the colleges come together for a series of cultural competitions. The opening is a parade which culminates with each college giving a 3 minute long performance to explain theri own theme.. so we represent MMMC :)

Life is hectic, but i kinda like it this way. Theres still alot to study. I guess that will never change....

so anyways for now.. enjoy the pics!!

That is all



:D guess who did their make up!!!

And the three of em.. haih...

:)

So the ayu!!!

More pics on fb

Trust hurts

You had my trust.
You used and abused it.
For this never will I trust again.
How right they were.
I know now.
I was a fool to trust you.

How can you hold your head up high
Knowing that you've betrayed someones trust
Have you no shame? no Morales?
Have you no sense of honour? Of Pride?
The lies that escape your lips,
With such ease, with such convincing speech
Indeed you are the lowest of the human species.
Animals are deserving of more respect then you.

God knows,
Time will repay your deeds.

the workings of the human mind..

So i leave Malaysia in exactly 3 days time...
Its a weird kinda mixed feelings
Im bored shit at home..
I miss my manipal frens

AT THE SAME TIME

I want to be here in penang
Cos alot is gonna be happening

Gana's getting engaged
Walk for Values coming up
Smaranams is kick starting again
and then theres the mutts..

BUT
in penang..
my frens are all leaving
by the end of the year,
penang will be free of members of 300

SO the conclusion is
going back to manipla is a good thing
but its also a bad thing
i cannot make up my mind

On to more pressing issues
todays lunch has not been decided
I have strange craving for pizza and roti canai..
wonder which its gonna be.......

that is all

Update 2

So my holidays are coming to an end pretty quickly...Its mixed feelings bout going back.. I suppose that its perfectly normal though... :)
Other then that, life at home has been pretty routine.. wake up... eat something..go out.. come back.. chill... online.. sleep..
Leena left a few days ago, to Australia... all of us have officially flown the nest! Leena me n Shobi.. even Gajen has left too... waiting on Van who'll be leaving pretty soon herself!

I passed the driving test.. so am officially able to LEGALLY race the streets! :P
Havent Hung out with Jk n Pravina this hols.. maybe sometime this week..
Batch 22 did really well for their unis.. all of those who mean alot to me passed..[ so happy :) ]
Batch 20 di well to i think.. but since im not so close to em.. not really sure..:)

When i get baack it'll be my turn..

that is all..

Update

Im home... Back in penang..

The big wedding was fab!
Akka looked fantatic... together.. Akka n Anne looked happy:). will post pictures bout the wedding later...

For now im back..
Met up my Gajen.. Van n YC the other day.. They havent changed a bit.
Gajen is still an ass..
Van is still deep...
YC is well... still YC :)

Today im supposed to meet up with the gang.. JK PK Pravs Sharmeen n all

Cant wait.. i havent seen em in ages

Its Valentines day today. No biggie... Y boy messaged me first thing.. :) Kinda miss him.. its been about a year since we last met up...

atching TV again after 6 months i good..

But being at home.. i feel the kilos just piling on. At this rate.. my manipal clothes arent gonna fit me when i get back!!! AAAAAahhhhh

The doggies are good. They HAVE piled on the kilos. Esp Rocky n Scamp

That is all

H>O>M>E

HOME
Need i say more...
and then theres the big wedding...
need i say more


THAT IS ALL... for this time... from india :D

DID U KNOW?

1. That Cream Crackers n Rendang are a fabulous combination( SERIOUSLY)
2.That it IS possible to go days without a decent stretch of sleep
3. That it IS possible to get shooed out of the library nt cos ur making noise.. but because its closing
4. That you can sleep anywhere anytime
5. That sleeping during lectures is your only form of sleep
6.That it IS possible to cook an ENTIRE meal on a hot plate, in the confined spaces of your hostel room, with limited resources
7. That is is possible to make a slightly burnt toasted cheese on a hot plate
8. That you can go days without giving/taking laundry because you wear the same thing the whole day cos u dont hv time to shower
9. That is it possible to have 100% attendance for every class
10. That is it NORMAL to have 100% attendance for every class
11. That people can be two different people at the same time, and wfool everybody at t
12. That textbooks are the best sleeping pill, even better then domicom
13. That there is more then one kind of Diarrhea
14. That different coloured stools have different meanings
15. That cyanosis does not occur at very low temperatures
16. That the place that when u first arrived here, u swore u would never eat at, is not your fav hangout, cos the food is cheap
17. That Charaka has the best tea in the world
18. That Panggals has the best dosa in the world
19. That there is something to a guy on a bike :P
20. That there is nothing to a girl on a scooter:P
21. That when you say youre tired of it all, its not life
22. That when you think it just cant get any worse... IT CAN

that is all
Missing all of u back home... cant wait till i get back.., we shall have FUNNN!!!
PS: text me what u guys want fr here k... like sweets or something... or whatever...[G] please dont say deepika padukone...
:D
that is really all

08-09

I was thinking the other day bout the past year, and how it has changed my perception, my outlook of life. 2008. A year of many events, many happenings. Both good and bad

The year started off great. Room 502,KDU college penang campus.Ah the memories. I made some of my best friends there, and renewed some very precious friendships. People like Leena, Shobina, Gajen, Nigel, Vanessa, and all of room 502, are very dear to me. They will always be the people who i know i can turn to in times of need. There was my much awaited 18th. My parents threw me a huge party on the beach of the Tanjung Bungah Beach Resort. Everyone room 502 came, and even some doinks like My kutu boy,who despite being and irritationg doink, is one of the nicest people i ever met.

Sharmeen. Sharmeen is one person whom I love. No matter what happens, shes always there. Always supportive,always encouraging. Shes the one who tolerated me for 2 years as desk-mate in secondary school, and shes the one whom ive confided in over the years.

Leena. Leena's the person who's got the most commen sense. Even thought that common sense might ( more often then not) come in the form of the lyrics of a beatles song(:P),shes the one who fetched me to n fro college soo many times last year, and shes the one whos always been there... my fellow debater since school days, the numerous conversations we've had over the years... i'll always treasure those.

Shobi.WOOBY. what would i have done throughout A-Levels if she wasnt there? from thinking of ways to skip class(but enver actually doing it) to keeping me awake in class. Shobi did it all. N now, were in the same country :P

Gajen. Even though he was irritating... with his " MALEH u know what i saw on the way to college today???!!!"...even though wat he saw was a CAR.. yes a CAR.albeit a special car.. but its got 4 wheels and an engine... :P I still cant imagine surviving 18mths in KDU without him LOL

there are so many more from KDU .... each n every one of them having a different impact on my life. Nigel, Janine, Vanessa, Misha... all of them important.. :)

FASTFORWARD.
It was the 14th of September 2008. A day of my life that i will never ever forget. I left home. I left my comfort zone. I left it all behind. I came to a new land, a new place, to study a new course. I took tht great leap.
As I sit here now typing this, I realised tha i worried in vain. I came here, I'm surviving. I adapt, I adopt new ways of life. Im living by myself now, and the independance is at once fulfilling and daunting. I realise the true meaning of the word responsibility.

2008 was a good year. The things that at first seemed to be incredibly horrible, the things that made life seem so bleak, turned out to be positive. It showed me that life often throws the hardest challenges your way, only to enable you to receive the fruit that is truly wonderful. So on a happy note, I bid 2008 farewell and welcome 2009 :)

that is all

the day the auto ran out of petrol on the way back to manipal from udupi

So today.. we went to Udupi after class... my friends wanted tog et some stuff to bring back home ( YESSS WE ARE HEADING HOME IN EXACTLY MONTH!)... and i wanted to get a hot plate/cooker.. cos im so sick of having loads of MASALA in my food. I want simple things.. like steamed fish,basic chicken... things like that.
And the only way to get food like that is to cook it. So thats what im going to do. Cook my own food.

So naturally after shopping, we were laden with bags.. tons n tons of BAGS.
So after dinner we get into this auto, with a very friendly unicle driver. He tells us he will drop each of us back at out respective hostels!
So we go. His auto is old. It is noisy. We laugh. We talk. We joke.


SUDDENLY.
Then engine gurgles. It coughs. It dies.
Sandhya: "uncle no petrol ah????!!!"
AUD(auto-driver uncle): " Yaar No petrol yaar"
Kat: How now uncle?? You go buy petrol n leave us here later someone kidnap!
Lin: Kat.. ppl see the number of bags we have... they also will run away!
AUD:*SPITS??BLOWS???Into ppetrol tank,,manages to start engine
Kat,San, Lin:" GO GO GO AUTO GOO!!!"
AUD:* grins*
we then head to the petrol station.n fill up
San,kat,Lin: *proceed to cheer all the way back to manipal*
AUD:GRINS

:D
fun times

that is all

Shudders of the night..

So i had another( not so nice) experience in Manipal. It all started out on tuesady morning at 10.15am. I was STARVING after the mornings lectures. So as usual, we all headed down to the CBS canteen to get their oh-so-addictive pastries. And so we ate.

Fastforward. Its 1.00 pm. We head to chef inn for lunch. My stomach churns. This is not normal. So i decide to skip lunch,for fear that what i might hv eaten might have ended up outside my tummy. More churning

Fast-forward. It's now 7.00pm. SMS: dinner at 7.15.... got bbq tonight!... and funnily enough, instead of being appetized, i feel sick. Rush to the toilet. Throw my guts up. This continues for about 8 times... untill what comes up is netiher food nor water. It is.... HEPATIC Bile... es. The alkaline stuff that is excreted from the liver and stored in the gall bladder. At a pH of 7.3-8.something. That yellow liquid that from personal experience i can tell u tastes disgusting.

Then it starts again!! but this time from the other end( if u know what i mean). They call. I say no. No way am i going to KMC. NO WAY.

They come. They insist. They drag me away.

There i stayed. Charaka 2. N15. From tuesday night, untill now whne i write this...... another truely Manipal-ian experience :)